The All-Too-Familiar Late-Night Spiral

Last night, I stayed up way too late. Not because of sick kids, last-minute work emergencies, or the kind of existential dread that creeps in at 1 a.m.—no, I did this to myself. I got so caught up in launching my blog and tinkering with Cursor that time simply evaporated. One minute, I was just “checking one last thing,” and the next, my clock read 1:51 a.m. Uh oh. 😬

When I first started this entrepreneurial endeavor, I knew this was a risk. I have a history of getting swallowed up by passion projects. It’s one of my greatest strengths but also one of my biggest weaknesses. The problem now? I have two small kids. And kids do not care that you made a bad decision. They will wake up at random hours, demand attention, and go about their day with zero regard for how much sleep you got (or didn’t get). Worse, I’m still recovering from a stubborn cold, so losing sleep was just about the worst thing I could do for myself. 🤧

The Warning I Didn’t Heed

Of course, my wife saw it coming. Before heading to bed, she gave me her usual “and don’t stay up too late” reminder. She knows me. She knew it probably wouldn’t work. And yet, I did it anyway. The minutes flew by, turning into hours, and I fell into the classic trap of “just one more thing.” There’s something oddly addictive about working on something that excites you—especially when you’re in a groove and feel like real progress is being made. The logical part of my brain knew I’d pay for it in the morning, but that part was firmly overruled by the thrill of creation in the moment.

The Morning After

Fortunately, the night was uneventful—no midnight wake-up calls, no accidents. My oldest only woke me up about 30 minutes before my alarm. Small victories. But still, I could feel the sleep deprivation settling in as I got out of bed. You know that feeling when your body is physically moving, but your brain is about three steps behind, desperately trying to catch up? Yeah, that was me this morning. 🥱

As I shuffled into the kitchen, I came clean to my wife. She gave me the look—a mix of understanding, mild disappointment, and resignation. She didn’t even need to say anything. We both knew it was dumb. And we both knew I’ll probably do it again. Just… hopefully not too soon. There’s an unspoken agreement in our house that while I may be an adult, I still sometimes need adult supervision. And when it comes to self-regulating my enthusiasm for new projects, well… let’s just say I could use some improvement. 🙄

Lessons (That I’ll Probably Ignore)

The irony is that I’ve given myself so much advice about pacing myself. I know the importance of balancing excitement with sustainability, of keeping energy in reserve for the unpredictable chaos of parenting. I know that a well-rested version of me is a better entrepreneur, a better programmer, a better parent. And yet, there’s something about being in the zone that makes all of that knowledge irrelevant in the moment.

What’s Next?

That said, I did get a lot done! And in my next post, I’ll dive into the tools and processes behind my blog. This blog, after all, is more than just a place to share my thoughts—it’s a testing ground. A small, manageable project to get hands-on with the tools I’ll need for my company’s product. It’s been a while since I actively programmed, so this is my way of easing back in. More on that soon! But hopefully, next time, I’ll have the good sense to call it a night before my clock starts creeping toward 2 a.m. We’ll see how that goes.